The frenetic pace of life today can make our personal relationships seem fleeting and temporary. This is even more pronounced in the workplace where actions taken and decisions made within a second, can have long-lasting consequences
It doesn’t have to be like this, however. Following a few basic principles, secure, stable, and lasting relationships can be developed.
Somebody should recognise the importance of the relationship
When we think of relationships, we obviously make the connection that it takes two people to make things work, but that isn’t the case.
While it may be easier if both parties recognise that the relationship is important, all it takes to put a relationship on the road to stability, is for one person to decide to put in the effort.
Only once we recognise the fact that our relationships with people are important, will we be willing to invest the needed time and energy into those relationships.
This first step is key and should the relationship not turn out as hoped, you – having done all you can from your side – can be comfortable in the knowledge that you did your best.
Listen without judging
The way our minds work, is that when taking in information, we are concurrently processing it – effectively judging that information.
While this is useful in times of crisis when snap decisions need to be made, in relationships it can prove to be a major issue.
When we say we’re listening, but are actually also judging what we’re hearing, we’re in fact not fully listening. By taking a moment to evaluate the information you have just heard before replying, you will have more of a chance to understand the motivations and grasp the feelings of the other person.
Too often, when immediately trying to get our point of view across, we only succeed in coming accross as defensive.
Location, location, location
We don’t always have control over when integral conversations which can make or break a relationships will occur, but in those moments we do, where we hold those conversations can be just as important as the topic under discussion.
For many people, meeting in a relaxed and informal setting, puts them at ease, which makes them more sympathetic. Always remember, the location of your discussion can affect the substance of your discussion.
Allow for feelings to be expressed
Relationships are created by sharing thoughts and feelings.
When feelings, be it joy, pleasure, rage, disappointment, sadness or fear, are expressed, we show our true selves which makes us feel vulnerable.
The upshot of that vulnerability, however, is that it allows us to be more connected.
Bottled-up feelings that are not aired are an impediment to building a true connection. How can we expect to have meaningful, substantial relationships when one party is oblivious to another’s anger or frustration?
If you keep these principles in mind, you will have taken the first steps needed to build yourself relationships that are lasting and stable.
However, there is one core concept underpinning all of these principles, which, failing all else, is what you must remember: there has to be a willingness for people to work together, which, most importantly, means that we must be willing to listen to each other.
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This article was first publisheed on Health24.com